I've always read that long distance relationships can be hard. There seem to be a number of factors that can contribute to a relationship going south because the distance at some point can feel like it cannot be bridged...
The main problem that people face is in deciding the right quantum of communication to maintain in a long distance relationship....If you decide to give a fair chance to the relationship, it seems that as much communication as you can get is the right way to go. however It sometimes feels like you are in limbo waiting for the real part of your life to start and that can be hazardous for the relationship. Like you are sitting and staring at a computer screen while life around you is moving at a pace you cant keep up with.
The paradox is that the opposite situation is also not a good scenario to be in... viz. a scenario where one or both the partners decide to move on with life and do things... and unless the communication channel is strong, the other partner can feel left out and insignificant. when that happens, the distance although absolute in physical terms can seem like a huge chasm that neither one can then hope to cross...
The boundaries of patience are often tested... what happens to physical satisfaction? where does one find the patience to deal with insecurities in the early part of the long distance relationship? does attraction wane with time? do priorities change with time? when should the alarm bells ring?
At one end, getting into a routine helps deal with the feeling of loneliness and helps you cope with everyday life. on the other end a routine at some point becomes comfortable and hence awakens the deeper insecurities of the other person. What if your partner becomes too comfortable with the distance?
The physical and emotional distance is just compounded with the difference in time zones. One person feels horny while the other is in the middle of a work day and cant help it. Also reading your partners emotional state of mind is not an easy task on a computer screen. Words are taken literally and the real meaning or emotion behind it often gets lost in cyberspace....
here is my take on this as a personal experience... I think early on I tend to need more contact than usual. At times it may come across as being overly needy and not too masculine. but the reason for this is that for the first few weeks, everything is unchartered territory. Although I may have been in long distance relationships before, Each instance is a new experience and the equilibrium needs to be found fast. I learn from your emotional responses to new situations and that helps me reach some sort of a comfort level... where life doesn't feel in limbo and at the same time it doesn't feel like you are rushing away from each other at breakneck speed.
so how do you recognize which way the relationship is headed? your guess is as good as mine.
